The Summer Olympic Games take place in London, England, in July. Medals will be awarded for all manner of summer sports, including equestrian (horse), cycling/mountain biking, even canoe and sailing. For all the power, speed, and agility tests involving vehicles, there will be no automotive games. We think that should change, even if it means we design our own Summer Gearhead Games. Here’s some ideas on what that might look like.
Summer Olympic Sport: Weightlifting
Summer Gearhead Games Equivalent: Drag Racing & 30-130
At the Olympics, there will be two types of weightlifting – snatch and clean-and-jerk. The snatch involves lifting the bar from the floor to above the head in a single motion, while the clean-and-jerk means first lifting the bar to the shoulders before hulking it up overhead. Drag racers will get three chances to “lift” the weight of their machines a distance of a quarter-mile in a single motion. 30-130 competitors will cleanly get their machines to 30mph and then accelerate to 130mph as quickly as possible. Fastest times win.
Summer Olympic Sport: Wrestling
Summer Gearhead Games Equivalent: Rock Crawling/4WD Obstacle Course
One of the world’s oldest sports, wrestling is a combat sport; a battle of wits, strength, and skill. Each opponent is an obstacle between you and the gold medal. Since motor vehicles predate paved roads, one of the oldest automotive sports has to be off-roading. We’ll setup a serious obstacle course which will challenge the rock-crawling crowd. Like wrestling, this will be a battle of wits, strength, and skill. Three runs, fastest time wins.
Summer Olympic Sport: Gymnastics
Summer Gearhead Games Equivalent: “Gymkhana”
One of the more difficult sports to master is gymnastics. These athletes twist, turn, flip, spin, and seemingly defy gravity. Gearheads do something similar. If not gymkhana (due to copyright issues), what do you call it? A huge, extremely technical course is laid out. Drivers each get one chance to run through as quickly as possible. Contact with a cone or barrier mean instant disqualification. Fastest time wins.
Summer Olympic Sport: Fencing
Summer Gearhead Games Equivalent: SCCA Solo 2
In Fencing, two competitors in special uniforms duel the old fashioned way – with swords (technically, foils). A classic battle of wits and style, Fencing is one of the few events to have been held at every modern Summer Olympic Games. Our Summer Gearhead Games will pit two similarly-classed competitors against one another, racing a mirrored autocross course. Cone contact is instant disqualification and lowest time wins.
Summer Olympic Sport: Athletics – Triple Jump
Summer Gearhead Games Equivalent: Triple Jump
The object of the Triple Jump is to jump further than anyone else. After a short sprint, competitors leap from a mark on the track (first jump), bounce midway to the sandpit (second jump), and go for the gold on a third, measurd, jump into a sandpit. We’ll set up a dirt course with a series of two smaller tabletop-style jumps leading up to a single, larger jump. Longest distance (without destroying the vehicle) wins. Classes for rally cars and baja racers alike.
Summer Olympic Sport: Triathlon
Summer Gearhead Games Equivalent: Triathlon
Triathlon is a competition wherein individuals swim 1500M, ride bicycles 40KM, and run 10KM. Lowest total time wins. We’ve come up with Gearhead Triathlon. First, competitors rotate/install race tires, change their oil and air filters, and remove a standardized assortment of items from their trunks/boots. Next, they run 40 laps around a road course. Finally, they make 10 runs down a quarter-mile drag strip. Lowest total time brings home the gold.
We’re thinking the gearheads of the world deserve an event like this.
You can check out the full list of 2012 Summer Olympic Games on the London 2012 site. There might be sports for bikes, boats, jetskis, and more. It’s fun to look at one thing in terms of something else; in this case – the Summer Olympic Games in terms of Gearhead Sports. Hope you’ve enjoyed this flight of fancy. Maybe, with your help, we can actually organize this event one day…
- What other Summer Gearhead Games equivalents can you think of?
- Would you enter an event like this? Would you attend even if you couldn’t enter?